Archives for category: Health

I thought that the current interesting topics are a good excuse to come off of my long hiatus. Particularly the controversy surrounding Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin. While I was irritated at his comments, they did ring a bell in the form of a concept I learned from my Psych 101 class.

During the description of the sequence events that occur leading up to and during the female orgasm, the professor described how the uterus contracts, mentioning that this was to draw the semen into the uterus and increase the likelihood of conception. A fact that floated at the surface of my mind until after the test, whereupon it sunk into a dark corner of my mind, waiting to spring forth as an interesting and inappropriate bit of trivia upon an unsuspecting public.

I did a trivial search on the subject of “female orgasm uterus contracts” and came across this article on sperm retention theory. Indeed, one of the prominent explanations for the female orgasm is that it makes it more likely to conceive a child with a preferred partner. In a species that has leanings towards rape, this would be a useful tool in the female’s arsenal. Score one for the Puritans and the inept congressman.

What can we learn from this? There are no winners here! At best, Mr. Akin mumbled a half-remembered anecdote that he never bothered to understand. Fire him. Women are not educated enough about their own bodies to even be aware of this super power they possess. Put them under Obamacare, they are clearly not competent to make their own healthcare decisions. No one in the media has thought to do a Google search to find out if there is anything behind Mr. Akin’s statements besides the typical ignorant ramblings of a politician. Hire an intern or something, jeeze.

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Homeopathy is a form of alternative medicine where the practitioners produce remedies for ailments by serially diluting substances that would normally cause the observed symptoms. The more diluted the resulting mixture, the more effective it is believed to be. For example, if a practitioner of homeopathy were to blame the malaise of our country on Washington D.C., they might try dumping it in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, then drinking a tablespoon of the – now highly dilute – city. From this example, one can immediately see the utility of this form of medicine.

Another application of this medicinal theory that has great potential is in the music industry. Take an artist or genera of music that you are not fond of, say Justin Bieber, and dilute it multiple times with music that you find acceptable. By playing this highly dilute mixture of Bieber music, you counteract the harmful effects of the undiluted substance. (Perhaps it is no accident that love of his music is known as “Bieber Fever“.)

Other benefits could also soon be realized. Anyone who has sampled a bit of the radioactive waste from the Fukushima Daiichi – hyper-diluted by the Pacific Ocean – is now protected from the hazards of radioactive contamination. Diners at Chinese restaurants can now take a highly diluted MSG solution to keep from getting headaches. Girls, tired of being hit on by the wrong sort of guy at the bar? Try a couple drops of 40X diluted jerk sweat.

As can be seen from this brief post, the manifold benefits of homeopathy are bounded only by the imaginations of the practicioners. There is no need to wonder at it having become a multi-million dollar industry. Now, fellow bloggers, perhaps I could interest you in a 400X dilution of Troll dung?